The One Leader's Tech Blog

Greetings, Netizens. You have arrived at The One Leader's blog. Take your god damn shoes off inside.

I review all things tech, mostly in the Virtual Dream sphere. I have been into computers since before you were probably alive, and I probably don't give a shit what your opinion is on them.

Click here to view my guestbook

Virtual Dream Reviews

Review: Porn Computer

As we all likely know by now Virtual Dream attracts only the "brightest" minds, which is shown no better than by the site's newest inane addition, Porn Computer. This has got to be the stupidest shit I've seen yet on this website, and I've sifted through all the crap there is on here. This guy is no inventor. Just another moron on the grift. Hopefully VD takes this down before whatever brain worm this guy has spreads.

0 out of 5

How do we let this shit happen?

Review: MalPals - Tubular Triangle

I've never personally been a fan of MalPals. I had always seen them as children's cartoon characters. That was until they released their MalPals browser companions recently. Surfing around while your pal quips and comments really brings a new edge to the experience. I have experienced no hiccups, and no impact to load times. Plus the demo is totally free! What's not to love? Check it out!

5 out of 5

Review sponsored by MalPals.

Review: Malware Cleaner

I'll preface with this: Joey and I do not get along. That said, neither do I get along with all the scum who riddle this site with malware. Call it a lesser of two evils, since Malware Cleaner does, surprisingly, actually work as it says it does. Something about broken clocks being right.

4 out of 5

Docked a point because this is my website.

Technology Reviews

HyperSystem Globutron

Horrible piece of computing technology. Like all ConnectTons, heats up insanely high and falters easily. Will be recommending to my enemies and anyone looking to burn down a house.

1 out of 5

Purchase and put fire rescue on speed dial.

ClimaxTech Netizen

Decent little computer with some pretty average specs. Would recommend to anyone on an especially tight budget that doesn't need a real machine with proper computing power.

3 out of 5

Better than nothing.

Email Shame Wall

Those who send me stupid shit get put on the shame wall. My email address is not currently public.

From: neocortex1986@************.live

Subject: Thoughts on HyperSystem X.

Hey leader!
I've recently been looking into upgrading my family's home PC and have been eyeing off the HyperSystem X as a pretty decent option. Its not top of the range, but it seems okay enough. Have you had a look into this model? Love your reviews, brother. Thanks!

If I wanted to claim the exorbitant insurance money I have on my home and family I would purchase a HyperShitstem. I do not currently plan to do this. Don't be a dumb ass. Capitalise my fucking name. We are not brothers.

From: bartfarkley@*********.net

Subject: W@nk W@nk W@nk W@nk W@nk

[I've redacted the contents of this email.]

Inane. Very childish. I've blocked your email address, punk. Stay out of my fucking inbox.

From: designpro456@*****.com

Subject: Clarification on your review of the ConnectTon A3 laptop

Hi, One Leader, I hope you're doing well.
I read your detailed review of the ConnectTon laptop and noticed you mentioned some heating issues during gaming sessions. I wanted to point out that this is actually only relevant to ConnectTon laptops up to A1, and has not been an issue in newer models such as the A3. I've read through their benchmarks and recently purchases an A3 myself and have not experienced any of the issues you mentioned in your review. Not sure if you received a faulty device or are being intentionally disingenous, but you may want to give it another go.
Best Regards, Brian

Firstly, if you're not happy with my reviews there are plenty of other tech sites out there that are HAPPY to pander to the imbecilic market of users who would go anywhere near a ConnectTon device to begin with. Secondly, I'm not even going to grace the bulk of your comments with a proper response, as everyone is aware that these devices are garbage and would be better suited in beating dull-minded tech consumers like yourself over the brain, if they weren't liable to shatter at the slightest touch. I will not be changing my review. In fact, I have removed it entirely (OF MY OWN VOLUTION) to avoid any of your ilk wandering in here like lost little babies. Have a horrible Christmas.

From: nnelsoncrimestar@*****.com

Subject: Will you review?

Greetings The One Leader. Will review classic PC harware? have attachment image of PC for review to you. Goodbye nnelson [Image redacted]

Photo of someone's asshole.